America’s Drunkest Presidents
A comical look at our chief alcoholics.
“These 8 brau hounds fell off the sobriety tree and hit the executive branch on the way down.”
Microbrews Run Dry On Hops, Sam Adams Offers Tons To Help
The Boston Beer Company has decided to open their supply of hops to small brewers across the US due to a major shortage in supply. This just goes to show that they not only care about making their own beer, but that they respect the small time brewer. Respect ++.
“For a couple of months now, we ’ve all been facing the unprecedented hops shortage and it’s affected all craft brewers in various ways. The impact is even worse on the small craft brewers–openings delayed, recipes changed, astronomical hops prices being paid and brewers who couldn’t make beer.”
Counting down the days…
So our next car payment is going to be our last one. That is is going to free up $325 a month. Obviously, this money is going to get redistributed to pay off all of our other medical bills, but because the baby has been keeping the wife up all night and because I have been working two jobs for a while now, I have declared that our first month with no car payment is going to include an expensive trip to Binny’s so I can buy a few things that I cannot otherwise afford. We deserve to spoil ourselves, methinks.
A#1 on this list is Goose Island Bourbon County Stout. For my money, this sounds like the most delicious thing ever. Stout…aged in bourbon barrels. Dear God. At $19 for a 4 pack, though, it does not fit in to my weekly budget, unfortunately.
Other than that, things are kind of up in the air. I know I want a good bottle of whiskey. Ever the bourbon lover, I am torn as to whether or not I should go with my good old standby of Woodford Reserve or if should I try something new. I am now taking suggestions for new things to try.
The first thing suggested to me was Johnnie Walker Gold Label, which I am told (by a source whom I trust) is like “sex in the mouth.” That’s a review I can get behind. I am unfamiliar with Scotch, though, and not sure if that is the best place to start.
Help me out, peeps. I’d like to try something new.
P.S. No vodka recommendations please.
The Drunkist MVP: Tina "Beer" Williams
This months Drunkist MVP goes to Tina “Beer” Williams. This fine upstanding lady was pulled over and had a case of Busch (Eww) seat-belted in the back, next to a 16 month old girl who was not strapped in.
When arrested the cops also found a few pipes which were apparently used for “smoking drugs”. She also refused to take a breathalyzer.
So heres to you “Beer” Williams! Hopefully one day you can drink something better than Busch.
Link: Beer gets seatbelt. Child doesn’t.
Awesome Beer of the Day: Rogue Dead Guy Ale
Created to honor and celebrate the Mayan Day of the Dead (which is November 1st btw) Rogue Dead Guy Ale is my favorite beer ever. Brewed by Rogue in Newport, Oregon; Dead Guy Ale is deliciously dark and hoppy but not too thick. If I had to compare it to something more main-stream I would say it is similar to Samuel Adams Boston Lager. Not exactly the same but in the same area of taste.
Add this beer to the list of things to drink before you die.
And knock one back for the dead.
ALSO! I’m drinking one right now out of my seriously k-rad beer bottle goblets that I received the other day. The craftsmanship on these things is amazing, solid construction and a nicely polished lip. These are a joy to drink from. If you don’t already have a nice set of goblets seriously think about picking some of these up.
Till next time, stay toasted.
Allagash White, or: Why on Earth do people drink Blue Moon?
Wheat beer has gotten pretty popular here in the states. I have never been the biggest fan of wheat beer because the majority of wheats offered by American macrobreweries are complete fucking garbage. The worst offender of this category is Blue Moon, brewed by the morons at Coors. Blue Moon tastes like hot dog water. There is no two ways about it. Cut open about 40 packages of hot dogs (Oscar Mayer…not the good stuff), drain the run off into a glass and do a blind taste test with some Blue Moon and you won’t be able to notice a difference. It’s fucking disgusting and completely turned me off to wheat beer for a long time. Then I decided to try some Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat and found it to be refreshing and not hindered by that cloying taste of processed pork assholes that is ever present in Blue Moon. It made me willing to give wheat beer another chance, and I am glad that I was willing to get back in the pool with wheats.
Wheat beer is complicated and mysterious. It is chameleon-esque in it’s ability taken on a variety of different flavors (and colors, too). What I find off-putting about wheat beers are when they are crammed full of fruit or citrus flavors and take on the personality of juice instead of beer. Good wheat beer should be soft and subtle with citrusy and fruit hints and background notes, not a full-on sweetness assault on your palate. Properly brewed wheat beer will naturally possess this type of flavor with minimal additives, and the fine people at Allagash know that, which is what makes their White such a delicious example of proper wheat beer.
Check out what I ordered: Beer Bottle Goblets
Check out these awesome goblets fashioned out of old beer bottles. They come in packs of two goblets made from recycled Grolsch, Sol, or Corona bottles. Personally, I love the style of the Grolsch bottle to begin with, so I ordered a set of those. Ill let you know how I like them once they come in the mail.
You can find these over at Firebox. Beer Bottle Goblets.
Found Via Uncrate
Heineken: Can it really be considered a premium beer?
Now don’t get me wrong, I love Heineken. Its one my favorite binge beers. I can knock down a 12 pack of them with no problem. But why is it so damn expensive? I know it’s an import and that makes it a “premium” beer, but is it really worth what I pay for it? Is it really worth 6 bucks at the bar?
No. No its not.
But you know what I think it is? A status symbol. A symbol that shows you will pay more for something that isn’t much better than the standard Miller or Budweiser beers. Its a symbol with a distinctive look. And you make sure that when you’re holding that distinctive green bottle, that the label is pointing out, so everyone can see that red star.
You want everyone to see that red star.
You want everyone to know that you will pay extra to look like a big shot. You like to show everyone that you’re better than them. Look at them, those lower class scum, drinking their lower class beer. They look like they’re having so much fun, hanging out with friends. You don’t need fun. You don’t need friends. You have your premium import beer and your smug look and your leased BMW 3 series.
But I still like it, even if I don’t have a leased BMW. And I’m going to keep drinking it anyway. Because it really is just a little bit better than the regular domestics. It might not be worth it, but I don’t care. Because that red star says I’m better than you.
Orval Trappist Ale - What God drinks.
There are only six breweries in the world that are allowed to carry the seal that reads “Authentic Trappist Product,” all of which are located at monasteries in Belgium. Of the six, only two are “widely” exported to the United States, Chimay and Orval. On my weekly trip to Binny’s this Friday night, I got lucky and spotted a few bottles of Orval on the shelf. I look for Orval every time I go to Binny’s, and upon having a chance to finally buy a bottle I let out a brief exclamation of joy. I only had $15 dollars to spend, and I knew I would have to spend $6.50 of it on one 12 ounce bottle of beer (or about $1 per ABV percentage point)…but I had a strong feeling that it would be worth it, and that assumption proved out to be true.
Awesome Beer of the Day: Goose Island 312 Urban Wheat Ale
Named after the ubiquitous Chicago area code 312, this beer embodies everything that is good about modern beer brewing. This beer is both delicious and easy to take down. It combines a great taste without being bitter. 312 is not only a beer that can not only be enjoyed in a relaxed setting over a nice meal, but also socially at a party or gathering with friends. Not to say that this is a beer that you will chug down like Coors, you will want to take a moment to enjoy it, but you can definitely drink quite a few of these in a sitting.
Bottom line, everyone can enjoy this beer. I don’t care if you only drink Bud Lite, you will like it.
You owe it to yourself to try 312. So if you see it available in your local Grocery or Bar, buy it without hesitation. Highly recommended. And if you’re in the Chicago area, check out the Goose Island brewery in Lincoln Park. They have great food and even better beer. You might even be able to pick up on a Trixie.
Links: Goose Island Brewing Co. Chicago
